Comfort…

The things we do to comfort ourselves have been playing on my mind. I know that what I do is not healthy and as such I’m torn. At this moment in time I have a bag of Haribo sat next to me and empty crisp packets because I have had a bad week and the only thing that feels like it fills the emptiness that comes with that.

It’s only when I think about it that I realise what I’m doing, usually at the end of the packet or once I’m so full I feel sick. But why do I feel the need to do these things? that’s what’s on my mind today.

Comfort eating, smoking, drinking(one I don’t do anymore), cleaning until I’m ready to collapse, making a den to hide in, biting my fingers until they bleed, spending money….I know there are worse things I could do than these but still I know they are not healthy. Breaking the cycle, that’s the hard part. Finding the metaphorical bolt cutters that can slice through those connections. I look at the ‘hot cross bun’ diagram my psych nurse/psychiatrist used to use with me and feel hopeless to break through those connections, where to start? the physical? the mental? try to tackle my memories that trigger it?
 

I’m determined to find them, those big old bolt cutters, I will slice through and free myself from the things I know I shouldn’t do, I think I will need more help and I’m looking into it at the moment.

Anyone know a good mental hardware shop?

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6 thoughts on “Comfort…

  1. I understand how you feel. I quite often finish an entire packet of biscuits then feel terrible guilt and self hatred for being such a pig.
    Don’t be so hard on yourself, these are your coping mechanisms and they could be worse.
    xxxxx

  2. Don’t ever think that you are alone! I am a terrible stress eater. When things get bad, I eat everything in site. There is no real way to fight for me, therapy has helped a little but not enough. All the medications to fight my Multiple Sclerosis just promote eating and weight gain, they make it all worse.

    So stay strong, there are more folks out there who struggle too. Let yourself know that sometimes we just aren’t strong enough. Doesn’t make us a bad person, just a person who needs help.

    1. Thankyou 🙂 I know what you mean about all the meds not helping I’ve gained so much whilst I’ve been on mine that I do sometimes try weaning off them to no success. Ah well my GP rang today and is going to refer me back to the psych team, not liason this time as they don’t know how to cope with me lol fingers crossed this time I get somewhere!

  3. I stress eat and bite fingers – if only it was just my fingers, because those don’t have calories. Okay, that was not a good joke. I have a lot of bad habits too, like eating too much and not exercising and sleeping too much during the day. Sleeping probably should not be considered a hobby, I think.

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