I realised something today as I finished doing some cleaning…it makes me feel comfortable to be surrounded by mess. This can not be healthy! When I finished the kitchen and walked through it with empty work tops, a floor without things all over….I felt empty myself and had to fight off anxiety. In the past cleaning was my therapy, stressed? clean, upset? clean. It was my way of taking my mind off things and usually moving furniture around as I did meant I felt that I was reorganising my life and head giving me a sense of satisfaction by the end of it.
The only thing I know that has changed is my inability to do it with as much Gusto as I used to, I don’t have the energy to blitz my house or even a room, hell half the time I don’t even have the energy or muscle strength to stand at the kitchen sink and wash up at the end of the day. Have I just got used to being surrounded by mess and clutter? Is this how those hoarders we see on television who can’t move in their own houses start? Perhaps.