This would be me today, I am in no mood whatsoever for anyone being annoying. I managed to keep my patience with the ladies I support because they can’t help it, for some reason it’s always the same way they can be as annoying as they want but I will have the patience to put up with it.
Give me one moment of idiocy from someone I work with or a member of the public and all that patience flies out of the window! Now today was supposed to be an easy shift but when I came in a member of staff who had been in all morning hadn’t done something simple we had been asked to do and cleared the fridge for when the new one arrives which made me a tad grumpy. Everything calmed down and the shift went pretty well up until the last 2 hours it was pretty good as I was out and about without her, then I come back into the service I work in to find out that not only had the same woman been a muppet and not used their common sense but made out that she had had a hard time of it. I found out they hadn’t even had the brains to realise that polystyrene isn’t recyclable, no wait they didn’t need brains as I had written a list last night of what can be put in the bin and knew she had read it! Then she tells me to do something she could easily do herself when I am already busy, comes back after finishing and is snide and up herself….this woman irritates the hell out of me!
I can’t write every little thing that she did tonight that almost sent me over the edge but suffice to say my drive home after the end of the shift was one with a metal soundtrack and a constant tirade going through my head of wanting to scream.
My anger is getting out of hand, I think I’m going to end up having to make the first thing I tackle with the psych team be anger management.
Today it might have just been that I’m anxious and tired from a tiring week at work where I’m doing too many hours and being told that if I don’t finish a work book we’ve been given I’ll end up in serious trouble….you tell me one person with anxiety problems that wouldn’t have been triggered by that! I’m beginning to wonder whether I really can cope with this job, whether my mind wouldn’t be better off doing some mundane little job that had no real expectations of me and no one ever really asked me to do anything that needed me to use my head. My health is not doing well over this and my mind is worse….I need to do something to solve this but I really don’t know what 😦
I know my manager is under stress but she forgets that I’m only on short shifts of no longer than 6 hours, that I’m not supposed to do more than 16 hours a week, that I can’t cope with doing a late shift finishing at 9pm and coming back in to do an early shift starting at 8am….how many times should I have to tell her this?? Because every time I go through my shifts and find something I don’t think I can manage I then have to find the guts to tell her and be faced with a look of disappointment /anger/ frustration which my mind really can’t cope with.
Oh I don’t know what to do with myself this evening but I know I had to get it off my chest this evening before I make any attempt to sleep and before the team meeting tomorrow. Meh I say, Meh to the world of work and the population of muppets in general.