I’m numb, I can’t think straight or feel anything but the little ball of panic in my stomach that won’t go away.

I had a productive day, sort of but it did involve being told I didn’t have the right car insurance which I had to sort out and finding out I can’t claim back my expenses just yet as they have been very unorganised and don’t have the information on file to do it.

I’m falling again. I went in for a medication review of my regular prescriptions today which doesn’t include my antidepressants….the doctor is nice and he did ask how I was coping but I just couldn’t make myself talk about it. I wanted out of his office and to get home to my dog and my spot on the sofa.

I hate feeling like this. I haven’t slept in my bed for days as I can’t make myself get off the sofa to go up there and sleep, I have to force myself to do the simple things and brush my teeth, get dressed and as for showering? That’s a real internal fight.

The pit is starting to swallow me again, the clouds are back over head and threatening to strike me with lightning at any minute.

At least I have an assessment this time next week and hopefully they will agree with me that I need to be back in therapy of some sort again.

Until then…Toby is keeping me moving, work is a reason to leave the house and clean myself and I have Lenore to keep me entertained.



3 thoughts on “Numb

  1. I know where you are. If I could I’d come and join you on the sofa for just a little bit of time so you’d know you aren’t alone xx

    1. Thank you it would be lovely to have company on the sofa (Toby would love it too). I’ve had a nap this afternoon hoping it would help but it hasn’t really and now I’ll have to go walkies in the the dark…oops. It does help to know I’m not alone in this though xx

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