Now for the real challenge…

…the second half of the Daily prompt where I’m supposed to write to myself in 20 years.

6th November 2012

Dear Mel,

Well now, 20 years eh? 20 years since you did this challenge and now you get to read a letter from your self. At least this time round I don’t have to convince you that it’s you….I hope!

Let’s see, at the moment I’m sat in the first house we ever bought, I really hope you managed to move, got that bungalow I now dream of owning in a place where you’re not surrounded by chavvy idiots, with a garden that’s easy to look after but plenty of space for the dog I’m sure we own.

I have every hope that they have found that cure for MS that scientists are searching for at the moment and that it wasn’t too late for us. Sadly I know that the chances are even if they’ve found a cure you’re still badly affected by it, honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if that bungalow became a necessity. Am I really still here at 49years old? Have we finally become a more rounded person that can accept the way her life is?

I’m trying to be positive in this letter but it’s hard, so hard, when all I see for our future is for this MonSter to attack us and make us so unhappy, take away our dignity, vision, legs….I really hope I’m not right.

At the moment I’m waiting to get back in with CMHT, I’m sure you remember that wait, it’s torture hanging around to find out if someone can help you. Do we get some form of help? Do they make us more level? Does the depression ever piss off and leave us alone? Pah why am I bothering to ask these things it’s not like you can answer me, but all I would want to say to you is question after question, to get some comforting answers.

I really hope we manage to stay in the job I’m in for a few years at least, I love it and I bet you remember how much fun it was at the start even with the struggles it was always fun. Supporting those ladies, didn’t they make you laugh? It’s the only time I give full belly laughs at the moment, when I’m with them and they come out with something that just has me in stitches. After I start struggling I really hope we managed to get to a point where we can do training for other support workers, pass on what we know and help them to be the best they can!

Let’s see…what else do I hope for our future?….I guess at some point it would be nice to find a fella that can put up with us. Kids? that ones debatable as you know all too well. The one thing I know we will always have is pets, no dog could ever replace Toby who will have passed by the time you read this 😦 but I do hope you find another after that is as loving and gorgeous and…well perfect for us.

So how to finish this? Mel you have always been strong, you’ve messed up in the past (oh have we ever), you’ve gone through a lot but I can just send forward my hopes that we continue to fight! continue to spread the word of our problems, help others with theirs and educate the world 🙂

Blessed be big sister

Mel

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6 thoughts on “Now for the real challenge…

    1. Me too…at least I know it’s possible to have a happy dog when you have MS…that’s what mobility scooters are for! hehe
      Thank you for reading and I’m so glad you liked it, this one took a lot of effort to write lol xx (Toby sends wags and sniffs too he was glad to be mentioned in it though I didn’t tell him what I said)

    1. What would be so easy if I was doing it for someone else was ridiculously difficult! Depression does not lend itself to being positive about your future lol Thank you 🙂 glad you found me on FB too hehe x

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