I’m in the middle of a dichotomy, numb and in pain at the same time…tis very confusing.
My mind is numb, not happy, not sad just….meh yet my body is in pain. Usually being in pain means that my mood plummets and together with my body it sinks to the bottom of that black hole. Now don’t get me wrong I would rather be meh than so low that all I can think of is…darkness, but will my body and mind ever stop confusing me?
I’ve woken the past few days with tension headaches and they have not gone away, the muscles in my neck and shoulders feel like someone has injected steel into the muscles from below my shoulder blades all the way up to the top of my head and into my jaw.
Stretches do nothing but hurt, heat packs sort of help but there’s only so many times I can shove it back in the microwave and I think I burnt my shoulder with it last time 😦 I just want them to piss off! There is no reason for them to be this painful! I’m not stressed out, I’m not at work so why the hell would they be doing this to me?!
I have no idea whether it’s MS related, psychological or something else that I don’t know about (the hypochondriac in me can’t help wondering about things like fibromyalgia) I don’t care what’s causing it I just really wish it would stop.
I have to go to training at work tomorrow, yes you heard right I have to go to training during my holiday, I hate it I do and I really wish I could tell them where to go! I want just one holiday where I get the full week off, no interruptions, no work, no nothing but that never happens and I’m sick of it!
Writing is not exactly easy at the moment, commenting is problematic and I’ve had to make myself turn on the computer. If I disappear for a couple of days that will be the reason, I think I might need to take some time off from the blog as well as everything else. Since I have WP on my phone I should be able to do some little bits but it will be limited if I don’t turn on my laptop.