I’m getting ready to do an evening shift, after last time this does not hold any appeal.
Since I woke this morning my body has been in panic mode, my arms are shaking and there is a knot in my stomach leading to my IBS kicking off. Anyone who has experienced that joy will know how much fun it is, anyone who hasn’t, well I don’t think describing it here will help.
I don’t want to go.
I just called my manager to find out what the roads are like and she did not really help ‘They’re slippy, but no worse than anywhere else, I’ve been driving on it all week so it’s not too bad’ with a tone in her voice that made it clear she thought I was being stupid to ring her about it. Oh and with the added joy that I will have to act as a taxi tonight for the people I support to a place I’ve never been before. I’ve just found it google maps (thank fuck for google maps) and it should be easy but I don’t know about parking when we get there.
My body is in panic mode and I can’t seem to shake it, I’m being mindful of the thoughts popping into my mind but…I can’t tackle them and there seems to be no way of making them just go away.
I’m counting down the minutes to when I have to leave my safe little cocoon and my little piece of sanity that is Toby for hours of mental and physical torture.
Please let the snow stay away, let the world around me warm up just enough for the snow and ice to go away, let me get this shift over and done with with no problems. Please.