You may remember that a while back I had put in a flexi-working request at work. Now in our jobs that should really be called a restricted working request as it limits the hours, days, times that we can work when in general we are expected to be able to work 24/7/365.
I was dreading it and even after having spoken to my manager last week about the fact I’m not coping with the hours I’m doing, I still knew I would struggle to speak about it properly to the community leader.
But I didn’t have to, L saw that I couldn’t speak and did it for me. She told him what we had spoken about last week and straight away he was really understanding. I won’t be getting the flexi-request signed off on because as he said ‘you and L seem to be managing without it and if you move to another service it would have to be redone anyway’. Which for once coming from the man who I usually can’t stand, it made sense and helped me to calm down. He did tell me that I may be better off becoming bank staff if I’m really struggling, he knows a few people who have done that because of ongoing health conditions and I would probably be able to dictate me hours to suit my health better as well as the fact that we always need reliable and trained bank staff so should get enough hours.
There are down sides to this arrangement, I will have to resign and break off for two weeks before becoming a new member of staff again as bank and I would lose some of the benefits of serving with them for more than two years among other things. I’m going to have a lot of reading up on it and a lot of thinking to do in the next couple of months. L knows I’m serious about all this and said again in that meeting that she doesn’t want to lose me as a staff member because I’m one of the good ones she can rely on and the community leader nearly had me in tears when he spoke about how obvious it is that I’m committed to and really try my best for the people I support.
I can only cross my fingers and hope that things get settled before I have to make this decision, that L and I can get things sorted so I can keep working with them and not need to do hand in my resignation. I know it may be for the best at some point but I would really like to keep working as long as I can. I’m also worried that I’m at a low point in my life and this is not the time to be making big decisions, this is the sort of time that I am likely to make big decisions on a whim and only luck will dictate whether they are good or bad.
For now, I will settle back into my work, I will continue on this path until there is an obvious fork or dead end and try to make it work for me.